Out of Breath
by AbbyGravy
Summary: That news was a huge blow to Dez. But how does he deal with it? And how does everyone else deal with how he deals with it?


I looked in the mirror at the "bridal shop," which wound up being a pit of taffeta and despair. When I had agreed to go with Ally to find dresses, I didn't realize that we would be here this long. But I don't mind, really. White is so her color.

I already had my outfit. Ally picked it out. Grey pants. Blue shirt. Yellow tie. Toned down from my regular wardrobe. Ally refused to let me pick the clothes myself. I'm not so sure what sh'e afraid of.

Blue and yellow. Those were the wedding colors. Austin's favorite colors. I know that Ally probably wanted red. I would let Ally have red. I've already made a vow to myself to red underwear. Not like it matters.

"Dez! What do you think about this one?"

I could already see Ally in the corner of the mirror, but even if I couldn't, I knew she looked beautiful. Like always. I turned around to see her in full view. She gave me a little giggle and twirled in a circle. I stopped breathing.

"Dez! I asked you what you thought about the dress."

"You... I mean it looks amazing," I finally managed to choke out.

"Yeah. I like this one too. Alright, well then I'll go get changed and then we can go get some lunch."

As soon as she closed the dressing room door, I sunk down into the nearest chair and put my head into my hands. I couldn't do this anymore- help Ally with the wedding. It was killing me, dragging me further into the biggest mistake I've ever made.

When Austin and Ally first started dating, it was a huge blow. The girl I'd loved since the moment I met her was dating my best friend. But I worked through the pain be continually telling myself that their relationship was only temporary. I told myself that for years. I only believed it for a couple of weeks.

And when he showed my the ring; when he told me that he was going to marry her, I couldn't breathe. I knew that if he went through with this, my chances with Ally were over. Which meant that my life was over. Every cell in my brain, every beat of my heart screamed at me to tell him that it was a horrible idea. But I just couldn't do it. Austin was my best friend. I'd known him for years and I'd never seen a bigger smile on his face than when he was with Ally. Ally. If I really loved her, then I would want her to be happy. And I knew that she was happiest when she was with Austin. So I wished him luck.

I didn't bother to stick around for the actual proposal. I'm not sure that I could handle it. I left Austin's apartment that day, packed a small carry-on and my favorite camera and got on the first plane with available space.

I ended up in Scotland. I hitched a ride with some farmers and lived with them for a month. For a month, I just took pictures and tried my hardest not to think about Ally. I had stopped answering calls or checking emails. I just lived.

It was eventually a call from Ally that brought me back. She was crying in her message, talking about how everyone back in Miami was so worried about me and how she was so scared that I might not be okay. The message ripped my heart out. I never intended on hurting Ally. I just had to be anywhere but there.

I was on the next flight back to Florida. Ally was waiting in the airport. To hug me because she had been worried. And then to slap me for making her worry.

Somewhere between all of the half-explanations of where I was and why I left, (I never bothered to tell anyone the whole story) I got sucked into helping with the wedding.

It was nice at first. I got to hang out with Ally all the time, and she was so thankful for the help. But I knew that it would eventually get to the point where it would hurt so bad that I might have to leave again.

Ally walked out of the dressing room wearing a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt from the set club at our high school, but I thought that she looked just as beautiful as she did in the designer dress.

We went to Mini's, still going strong after several years. I told Ally that I'd probably be too busy to help her with the wedding these last two weeks. She tried to protest, saying that she couldn't possibly get it all done without my help. But when I reminded her that Trish would be back a couple of days, she gave in.

I spent that first week looking at all of my pictures from Scotland. I don't think that I left my apartment once that week. I just poured myself into these pictures of the beautiful country that I was beginning to regret ever leaving.

It was about the eighth day that I realized something. There was no way that I could let Ally get married and not tell her the truth.

I spent the rest of that week writing a letter. It reads:

_Ally,_

_I know this probably seems strange and out-of-character for me to write a letter. I typically just share things openly. But I wanted you and only you to know this. And I couldn't bear to see your face when you found out. _

_I love you. I have since the first moment I saw you through the window of Sonic Boom. That's why I convinced Austin that it would be the perfect place to shoot a music video. Because I desperately needed an excuse to talk to you._

_And when I kept rejecting all of your props for Claws (Duh Duh Duh), it was just because I think you look adorable when you're angry._

_And when I asked you to teach me how to kiss instead of how to play the piano, I wasn't entirely kidding._

_When Austin told me that he was proposing to you, I was so crushed that I had to disappear. So I got on the first available plane to anywhere, and ended up in Scotland. I spent that whole month trying to forget about you, which is basically impossible. I tried to ignore all of your calls, tried to pretend that I never even knew you. But when I got your message and you were crying, I knew that I had to go back. It hurt me to be there, but it hurt you when I was here, and your happiness is much more important to me than my own._

_If you are totally angered and annoyed by the contents of this letter, please just ignore the fact that you ever received it. Shred it. Burn it. Don't mention it to anyone, especially me._

_But in the off chance that even the smallest part of you feels the same way, please let me know._

_Forever yours,_

_Dez_

I put the letter in an envelope and brought it with me to the rehearsal dinner. Ally greeted me with a tight hug and I savored it, knowing that it could possibly be the last hug I ever received from her. I slipped the letter into her hand and told her to read it later when she was alone. She gave me a strange look, but nodded in agreement.

I didn't stay any longer than necessary, knowing I needed to rest up for the most emotionally draining day of my life.

I woke up early the next morning. I wanted to get to the church as soon as possible. I had to see her one last time.

I knocked on the door of the ladies dressing room. Trish opened the door.

"ALLY! THAT REDHEADED DIMWIT IS AT THE DOOR!"

"Trish! I thought we agreed that after we graduated high school that you would stop calling Dez names."

"Fine! Well then _DEZ _is at the door."

"Thank you. And could you please tell him that there are no boys allowed in here."

"Ally says that you smell bad and she hopes you break your pinkie toes."

I sighed. I knew that I wouldn't get to talk to her again.

I tried to go talk to Austin. I was his best man, I was supposed to_ something, _right? But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I hadn't had a full conversation with him since he told me he was going to propose to Ally. The worst day of my life expect maybe today.

So instead I just sat in a corner and waited for Trish to come smack me on the head and tell me it was time to go.

When I finally began to make my way down the aisle with Trish on my arm, and I saw Austin standing there, a huge grin on his face, I knew that at least two people were going to be very happy today.

And then the music hit. The wedding march. And everyone rose from their seats to watch Ally glide down the aisle. She was wearing the dress that she tried on that one day in the shop. And, if possible, she looked even better in it today.

I felt horrible, knowing that I was in love with the girl that my best friend was about to marry. But I couldn't help. I don't think that I would ever stop loving her.

She finally got to Austin and she calmly grabbed his hands. But her smile seemed almost forced.

And maybe I was hallucinating, but I could have sworn I saw her looking at me.

And as the service went longer and longer, I knew for sure that she was looking at me. And I could see the smile slipping from her face.

And then she let go of Austin's hands and ran down the aisle, starting to cry.

It was instinct. I followed her. I followed her all the way to Sonic Boom, up the stairs to the old practice room. For a girl in heels and a 50 pound dress, she sure could run.

As I slipped through the open practice room door, I realized that nothing had changed since high school. When _Austin Moon _became more and more of a reality, we used the old room less and less. But I still thought that it had much more character and heart than all of the studios we've been in and out of since then.

Ally sat in the corner of the room, sobbing into a pillow. I knelt down next to her and put my arm around her shoulder.

"I am so sorry Ally. This is all my fault. I never meant to upset you. I just couldn't keep it from you any more."

She sniffled and pushed my arm away.

"Really Dez? All those years and you never bothered to say anything?"

"I didn't want to ruin anything between us. And then when you and Austin started dating, you seemed so happy. I just wanted you both to be happy."

"Did you ever think that maybe I felt the same way? And that I was just way too nervous to make the first move. And that by the time Austin asked me out I had given up on you ever liking me so I just moved on, but never actually got over you?"

"Really?"

"Really."

Again, Ally had stolen my breath away. She was telling me that she actually felt the same way about me that I felt about her the whole time?

"So what now?"

"Well, I don't think that I can go through with marrying Austin."

"Yeah."

"So I guess that we'll go down and explain everything."

"You really think that's going to go over well?"

"No. I think that Austin's going to try to kill you."

"It's okay. I'm bigger than him."

Ally laughed. I love her laugh.

"Well then I guess we'll do it."

And she was right. Austin did try to beat me up. But I held him off long enough to talk some sense into him.

Ally's dad basically thinks that I single-handedly ruined his daughter's life for about five seconds. Then he just shook my hand and walked away.

Soon, everyone left the church. It was just me and Ally.

And us? We just took it one day at a time after that. We're just trying to figure it out. Trying to live the life that we had been too afraid to live for years.

I showed her Scotland. She thought that it was as beautiful as I did. It looked even better with her there with me.

And she finally taught me how to play piano. The first song I learned was Fat Bottom Girls. Ally was so proud.

She also taught me how to kiss. Can't say that I was disappointed.

**AN: So there you go. Sorry for being one of those people who ship Allez and Auslly and Trez. All at once. Just kidding. I am not in any way sorry.**


End file.
